In defense of sex and drugs

For real, y'all, check out what Probcause had to say today:

Yoooo me and @PalmerSquares just dropped our first single from #JunkyardSamurai!! It’s an anthem dedicated to all the smokers and lovers!

💥 RT like there’s no tomorrow https://t.co/KvgHg1hUVO

— PROBCAUSE (@ProbCause) August 17, 2018

If my use of the F word bothers you, you definitely won't want to listen to this song, and it's probably a bad idea to read the rest of this blog. Sorry, Dad.

One of my missions in life is to remove the stigma from certain activities that are automatically categorized as "bad," specifically drug use and promiscuous sex.

My line is separating desperate families, and if you're OK with it, I might have an offer for you

I guess I found my line.

It’s the separation of asylum-seeking families at the border and the insistence of some people who call themselves “Christians” to continue to defend these policies. As one might say in a meme, “If you’re cool with putting terrified children in cages so that people fleeing certain death in their home countries don’t come here, we don’t have a difference of opinion, we have a difference of morality.”

Lately I’ve been bugged, particularly by people who claim to be Christian. Denying people help that they desperately need is the opposite of Christ-like.

I changed a thing!

Manitou Springs, Colorado is five miles west of Colorado Springs. It's where Garden of the Gods and Pikes Peak are, so it gets a lot of tourists, especially in the summer. It embraces its hippie local identity, of which my husband and I are a part (not apart). One of our locals is a cute little taphouse called Kinfolks, where we've been hanging out long enough to witness a change of ownership.

Since we were already regulars, we became friends with the new owners right away. One evening when my husband and I were the last two at the bar near closing time, I suggested that he make the restrooms gender-neutral.

Kinfolks had two single-use restrooms. I quit obeying gender-restrictive signs on single-use restrooms a long time ago, so I was familiar with the innards of both restrooms. I reject the gender binary. I understand that my vision of  a gender-neutral public restroom with multiple stalls plus a urinal trough is a bit much for many people. But I've yet to hear a persuasive defense of keeping single-use public restrooms segregated by gender. "Men are messy" or "women take too long" depend on outdated stereotypes that are easily debunked by the fact that your bathroom at home is probably gender-neutral.

The owner's first reaction was to laugh at my funny joke, until he realized that I was dead serious and waiting for him to respond.

Masterpiece Cake - A big nothing with some interesting commentary

Masterpiece Cake, as it will be known forevermore, was decided yesterday. I worked a tiny tiny bit on this case when I interned for ACLU of Colorado, which is pretty cool, notwithstanding the fact that I really added no discernable value. Charlie and David are lovely, though.

Yesterday morning, I joined the chorus of sighs as I heard the headline. It was foolish for me to jump to conclusions before reading the actual opinion.

One matter that I am not seeing discussed enough in the media is the Court’s comments that it was relevant that the incident that spawned this lawsuit occurred pre-Obergefell (the SCOTUS same-sex marriage decision). The Court suggested that the baker’s assumption that there was nothing illegal about refusing to make a cake for a gay wedding was bolstered by the fact that same-sex marriage was not recognized in Colorado at the time. That means that this case likely has little precedential value for any dispute arising since June of ’15.

The majority opinion itself little precedential value anyway; that’s what is meant when you keep hearing that the ruling is “narrow.” 

Be on the Right Side of History: Consider Your Meat

In this month's issue of Men's Journal, there is an article about going vegetarian. Gordon Ramsay decided to "give the vegan thing a try." Anthony Bourdain is still resistant to a plant-based diet, but with any luck, he'll accept my invitation to come to Crested Butte so that I can serve him a delicious vegan meal.

Regardless, the writing is on the wall: vegan eating is on the rise and will only continue.

Lest you react that the article I've just shared is from the UK, rest assured that the same is true in the United States. Forbes published a piece recommending that businesses embrace veganism and pointing out how it's already happening worldwide.

The Gender Binary Is Stupid: Early Childhood

It all starts with the idea that you must be either male or female. The inability to allow for an "other" option (indeed, even the need to ask at all) already alienates people who don't fit into the easy either/or boxes we shove infants into before we even wash the slime off them. It's not common, but it's a lot of people.

Then, society keeps attaching assumptions to those categorizations based on genitalia. If you stray too far from those assumptions, you'll probably be a target for bullying, which is often a way for the gender police to "keep you in line."

Snips and snails and puppy dog's tails. Cooties. Boys don't cry. Girls shouldn't be too tough. Girls get in that line, boys get in the other line. No, no, not defined by how you identify, but by what's between your legs. Let's make it clearer: Vaginas in this line, penises in the other line. That is your primary classification.

It's insane. Actually, it's fucking insane, but I'm trying to curse less these days.

My favorite things: The Muppets

I've written about a number of people/characters that influenced my youth. The Big Three are David Bowie, Jo Polniaczek, and Miss Piggy.

The other night, my husband literally gave so few fucks about what we watched that he was willing to let me pick and to watch without question. I picked a movie I'd been wanting him to watch for a long time: The Great Muppet Caper.

The story is classic: Kermit and Fozzie play identical twins who, along with their friend photographer friend Gonzo, try to save their journalism careers by cracking the case of jewels stolen from Lady Holiday, a fashionista from London. Meanwhile, Piggy lands a job as a receptionist for Lady Holiday, and hilarity ensues when Kermit mistakes Piggy for Lady Holiday and Lady Holiday's (spoiler) criminal brother falls in love with Piggy. This is the Muppet movie that features the scene that I carried on my lunchbox for years.

It had been a while since I watched it, but I've watched it dozens of times, and I enjoyed it the other night just as much as I did when I first watched it in the goddamn theater.

And I especially enjoyed seeing my husband, who didn't have high expectations, thoroughly enjoy it. He didn't even nod off once. He'll say that what he liked best was watching me enjoy it, but it's definitely not just that.

It's this: The Muppets are fucking awesome.

Don't forget that the Muppets and Sesame Street are basically the same thing. It's the same producers and voices, and Kermit in particular crossed over. I had a crush on Bob (the first in a long line of friendly white guys, one of whom I married), and I appreciated Maria (one of few Latinas on television at the time). I liked Big Bird and Mr. Snuffalupagus. I wanted a sweet roll and I had a banana in my ear. And by golly, that motherfucking lollipop was following me.

I had outgrown Sesame Street by the time Elmo came around, but I never outgrew the Muppets. I was watching the Muppet Show at the same time that I was watching Sesame Street, but something kept the Muppets on my radar long after Sesame Street faded. To the extent that it did. I take pride in owning this album:

"Muppet fan" was not anywhere on my husband's list of things he either desired or was opposed to in a partner. He liked me, and "Muppet fan" came along with me. He understands that he is now part of the Muppet fan community, and he has reacted with only delight at all that entails.

The Muppets rule. Don't forget it.