My favorite things: The Muppets

I've written about a number of people/characters that influenced my youth. The Big Three are David Bowie, Jo Polniaczek, and Miss Piggy.

The other night, my husband literally gave so few fucks about what we watched that he was willing to let me pick and to watch without question. I picked a movie I'd been wanting him to watch for a long time: The Great Muppet Caper.

The story is classic: Kermit and Fozzie play identical twins who, along with their friend photographer friend Gonzo, try to save their journalism careers by cracking the case of jewels stolen from Lady Holiday, a fashionista from London. Meanwhile, Piggy lands a job as a receptionist for Lady Holiday, and hilarity ensues when Kermit mistakes Piggy for Lady Holiday and Lady Holiday's (spoiler) criminal brother falls in love with Piggy. This is the Muppet movie that features the scene that I carried on my lunchbox for years.

It had been a while since I watched it, but I've watched it dozens of times, and I enjoyed it the other night just as much as I did when I first watched it in the goddamn theater.

And I especially enjoyed seeing my husband, who didn't have high expectations, thoroughly enjoy it. He didn't even nod off once. He'll say that what he liked best was watching me enjoy it, but it's definitely not just that.

It's this: The Muppets are fucking awesome.

Don't forget that the Muppets and Sesame Street are basically the same thing. It's the same producers and voices, and Kermit in particular crossed over. I had a crush on Bob (the first in a long line of friendly white guys, one of whom I married), and I appreciated Maria (one of few Latinas on television at the time). I liked Big Bird and Mr. Snuffalupagus. I wanted a sweet roll and I had a banana in my ear. And by golly, that motherfucking lollipop was following me.

I had outgrown Sesame Street by the time Elmo came around, but I never outgrew the Muppets. I was watching the Muppet Show at the same time that I was watching Sesame Street, but something kept the Muppets on my radar long after Sesame Street faded. To the extent that it did. I take pride in owning this album:

"Muppet fan" was not anywhere on my husband's list of things he either desired or was opposed to in a partner. He liked me, and "Muppet fan" came along with me. He understands that he is now part of the Muppet fan community, and he has reacted with only delight at all that entails.

The Muppets rule. Don't forget it.

#IAmComplicit

"A product of its time" is not an excuse, but it is a reason. I am embarrassed about some ways I've contributed to the culture. I can only apologize.

The Facts of Life, my very, very favorite show, a show that I believe was hugely ahead of its time regarding its commentary on many social issues of the time, a show that can do just about no wrong in my eyes, is guilty of minimizing sexual assault and contributing to rape culture.

In Part 1 of the 2-Part fourth season finale "Graduation" (1983), Roy the delivery man makes an appearance. His unrequited crush on Jo is a running joke for a couple of seasons (the entire storyline is problematic and will be discussed elsewhere). In this episode, Roy arrives announcing that he has a graduation present for Jo. What is it?

Following Jo's assault, the other girls proceed to make jokes about and to make fun of Jo for "kissing" Roy! Jo tells them that it's not a laughing matter, but no one makes the connection to the last time Jo was sexually assaulted or to the time Natalie was the victim of an attempted rape.

The phrase "a product of its time" is meaningful. It is certainly not an excuse for sexual assault. It is hard to explain what I am trying to say without sounding like a rape apologist.

Survivor outed a trans man tonight. Here's what one queer has to say about it

One of my favorite television shows ever is Survivor, and I accept that. I accept that Mark Burnett, the big creator guy or whatever, is a creepy fundy who hates a lot of what I stand for. I accept that Survivor is a "reality" show, in which stuff really happens but is often manufactured. I really don't give a shit; I love the show, and in fact I recently applied to be on it.

Tonight, a big thing happened on Survivor. During the Tribal Council, Jeff Varner turned to Zeke Smith and said, "Why haven't you told anyone you're transgender?"

I gasped. The people at tribal council gasped. Doves flew in terror.

Not because Zeke is trans, but because Jeff outed him like that.

And I'm happy to say that the outrage of the tribe and of most of what I've read online so far is that Jeff outed Zeke, not that Zeke is transgender.

I really believe however, that CBS would not have aired this part of the tribal council if Zeke had not agreed to it. Jeff Probst, Executive producer, really isn't a monster, I don't think. If that's true, Jeff outed Zeke only to Jeff Probst and their other tribe members. Which doesn't make it right, but at least gives Varner some vindication in his choice to GO THERE.

Then again, this is TV. You're on camera; anything can be used. If you say it on camera, it exists in the wild.

Zeke, to his credit, was very quiet and classy throughout the whole ordeal. It may have indeed been the case that media savvy Zeke recognized Jeff's comment as his national outing no matter what he wanted. And he was OK with that. In that case, I just respect him for respecting the inevitable.

Or it could have been that he was just fucking outed by someone he trusted and he thought his best bet was to take the temperature of the room and go from there.

Thankfully, when Zeke was outed, the immediate outrage from the rest of the tribe was directed at Varner for outing him. Not one person was outraged that Zeke hadn't told them he was trans. Special support was provided by Sarah, who admitted that she probably thought trans people were weird from her upbringing, but seeing that oh, THIS is what a trans person looks like takes all of that away.

I think this was good. Zeke may have gotten thrust into a position that he didn't exactly ask for, but on the other hand, he ended up an outstanding ambassador.

So the next thing Survivor should do is cast me, right?